Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

October 25, 2011

October 26, 2011
I could tell you what’s happened since April… Or I could just tell you to mind your own business.
I think I’ll just tell you fuckers to mind your own business.
Ok that’s been a bit mean, I admit it, and I know it’s not like me, it’s completely unlike me to tell people to fuck off and mind their own business. But if you want a little update, it’s that I’m back in California. I love it here. It’s my true home. Now to get a place to call my own. 


April 9, 2011

I’m pretty sure I’m obsessed with it. Thanks to my friend Lacy. That is all.


February 5, 2011

It’s safe to say now that I am completely heartbroken. My boyfriend and I of one year just split up. It may have only been a year, but to me that’s a complete year wasted. That song ‘seasons of love’ kind of puts it into perspective.

“Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes,
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Moments so dear.”

All those moments, seconds, hours, days that just went to waste. It’s even more heartbreaking when you truly think about it. Am I starting to sound really depressing? Oh well, I’m at least allowed this one things.

Of course I cant really call it a complete waste when in fact he helped me with so many things. I became a much stronger person because of him. I stopped talking shit about people behind their back and if I had a problem I actually went to them about it. I’m not crying anymore about it, I did for the first couple of days, now I just feel empty. I’m hoping to get another job and be able to afford gas money as well as rent. That’s my hope at least. 🙂

I need to grow up and live on my own now. I’m a big girl. I’ll miss him, I kind of already do. I miss those kisses, the one’s I got before class, before he left to work, and right before work. He was a wonderful person and I don’t see myself going to any one else for a very long time. I think that week away from each other will do us some good. Well that’s my spilling my guts out to you.

I have one more thing to add, but nothing about the above. I must warn you against EVER getting Olive Garden’s Spaghetti and Meatballs. BAD FREAKING IDEA! The worst might I say. It tasted like ragu, but I was still nice enough to freaking pay for it. I shouldn’t have, but I did.

Anyways, that’s all. Have a nice life, at least better than mine.


The Awful Truth

December 30, 2010
Well I have come to the conclusion that in the past two years I have actually become an adult. I’m not entirely sure how that came to be, but I think college had something to do with it. I only realized this just now because first of all, I’m living in an apartment with my wonderful Hannibal. I’m going to college, which is exciting as ever. I hate life and yet at the same time I love it. I hardly ever see my parents, which is quite disheartening, but this is what grown-ups do, right? And lastly, I’ve grown a tongue of my own.
When first starting at my college I was this shy, not so talk-a-tive person. I acted kind of like a child, but at the same time I knew I had to grow up. It’s a bit unbelievable, right? Trust me I couldn’t even fathom that I had grown up at all until just now. It’s not like I wanted to, it just happened. I guess that is just what normally happens. One day you grow up, all you can hope is that what the future brings will be the best it can be. So far it’s been decent, not the best, but not the worst.
Christmas was a few weeks ago, my man was wonderful. Under the tree for him was, and please don’t make fun of me, I know he likes it so I got it for him;
1. Drunken Goat Cheese (Which, if your a Cheese person is fabulous.)
2. Tanzanian Peaberry (Introduced to him through a friend and very good.)
3. Candy
4. Candy
5. Chocolate, which to him is candy.
I hate to admit this, but the boy spoiled me worse than I could him. He got me;
1. Dessert Fourplay by Johnny Iuzzini [and Roy Finamore. (Which for a moment I thought it say Boy, ha!))
2. Italy The Country and Its Cuisine. (Boyfriend said that I should learn more about it. Last night I made Bolognese Sauce and it was spectacular.)
3. Bailey’s the Alcohol (Oh how I love this liquor.)
4. Assassins Creed Brotherhood (love it! ^__^)
5. Call of Duty Black Ops. (it’s decent, but I love my man for getting it, its fun.)
6. Games for the both of us Which include; Resistance 2&Fall of the man, Fear 1&2, Darksiders, and Call of Duty World at War.
7. Last but not least two movies; Zombieland and Super Troopers.
Needless to say, we both had a wonderful night. ^_^ I know I did. This has been the best Christmas by far.
Just as a little note; I’ve wanted Dessert Fourplay for so long. I’m a Baking and Pastry major and seeing what he has in his book just thrills me. I remember finding it for the first time and Borders and almost dieing when I looked at each recipe. By the way I suggest taking a look, if your at all interested in desserts then take a look. It’s such a wonderful book and he has such artful creations in it. (This is the type of Pastry Chef I want to be. At a nice little restaurant, cooking desserts.)
As much as everything else thrills me it was this that just set me off. I knew I wanted to do this in a restaurant, its just a shame that not a lot of people hire Pastry Chef’s now. I know one day I will find somewhere to cook these beautiful things. I want to be like that, just come up with a new dessert each night and serve it to someone. I would hope that they would enjoy it as well. I know it’ll happen, I can feel it in my heart that it will.
And so with this Awful ending I’m done. I’ve not written in a while, but at least now you all know.


October 27, 2010

I’m deciding whether I should bring this subject up in the first place. I know how much attention it might attract considering how fragile it is. Well I guess I’ll start. I have a few gay friends. They go out with other people of the same sex and honestly I have no problem with it. Honestly I’m fine unless one hits on me, then I’ll tell them the truth. I love all of my friends no matter when, where, or how they are.

I think that they are wrong saying that there is a gene for gayness. That’s just stupid, that’s like saying there’s a gene for shopping very cheap. But you cannot stand in front of me and tell me that there is a gene telling you whether or not they will be gay or not. First of all, a man and woman can only have kids. Man on man, no, woman on woman, no. They either have to adopt or even plenty of other things. And to even say that is ridiculous.

Again, I have nothing against gay people. I’m not so ignorant that I’ll mistreat people like that. The fact that people bully them is not my fault what-so-ever. I know someone who got a few words to him and I almost went and hit the guy who said it to him. So again, I love all of my friends, no matter what they believe, I just don’t believe that. I’m pretty sure there are plenty other’s who believe me. I’m also certain that there will be others who will not believe this.

Bare in mind that I do not care what you think. This is my opinion, honest and hurtful, I am certain. But when is it that honesty is never hurtful?


Being Ignored

September 12, 2010

It’s like getting a hug. So nice and warm, comforting…. Oh. Wait, never mind.

I have no idea what to do. No friends, no family. What the fuck did I do wrong? I’m only thankful I have Hannibal in my life or I might strangle myself. I’m also thankful I have my dad’s side of the family. At least he isn’t calling me names behind my back.

I’m growing very tired with my mom. I still cant believe she went so far as to delete me from her facebook, like… Really? Do you honestly think you hurt me that way? No, it doesn’t hurt. I’m honestly happy you deleted me. Now you cant ‘judge’ me for what I put up. And by the way, the only reason I deleted my cousins and aunts and uncles, was because I knew they would tell you something.

Look I’m sorry for what I did and said, but get over it. I’m almost, allllmost 21 years old. I think I now have the right to say what I want. If you disagree, good for you. But after that guy was wrong the first time, in God’s heaven he is a false prophet. You know what they used to do to false prophets? They used to position them at the bottom of a rocky mountain, tie them down and then go to the top and drop large rocks on top of them. (Stone them to death is another term.) You know what, he’s the guy that set the Al Quida off. No wonder why they attacked us. Harold Camping did this. Maybe the man should learn to keep his mouth shut. But you know what mom, you believe what I want. I’ll learn the bible my own way. I’m not 12 anymore, you cant tell me what to do anymore. I’m sorry. If I want your help then yes, I will go straight to you. I love you mom more than you think, you just need to learn that your little girl doesn’t take shit anymore.

(By the way, Harold Camping also said that people between 1980-1984 were only saved. And that would mean… Not me…. Hmmm Or you….. Maybe you should get your facts straight mom. I know I am. )



September 4, 2010

I have to be honest with all of you. As of late, things have been a bit…. Odd.

My feelings are being mixed up, my life has been in a, well to say the least, chaos. And things with Hannibal have definitely been rocky. I’m in love with him and I know that for fact, but sometimes I feel like… Well… Nothing. Shit, trash, crap, horrible, and so on and so forth. Used is truly a word I would I feel right now. It hurts knowing that…. Hmm… Never mind, too much information.  I’m not entirely sure what exactly to say to him, but I can only pray that he is just scared, and that we will be together. I really do not see myself with anyone else. I love waking up next to him, his hair in shambles and the both of us so tired school is out of the question, but we both have to go. I gave up on kids, I’ll give up on a house, and maybe pets, but I will not give up on Hannibal, there’s no way.

It hurts even to think that I might lose him…. I don’t want to.


August 25, 2010

In all manners of speaking is… Nill.

Lets just say that when people talk about Religion it breaks apart families.
No, hear me for a moment. Take me for example. At this very moment, my mother and I discussing whether the Lord’s Rapture will be next year on May 21, 2011 oh and October 21, 2011. My mom has this ridiculous thought that on May 21st the Lord will return. Look, I don’t doubt that he will return, and I don’t doubt it will be soon, but more needs to happen in order for this to happen. I have talked to my Pastor, my father, my step mother, my Grandmother and even my boyfriend, who are all Harold Camping Insane. Yes, the man is nuts.

In 1994 he made the same accusation, and well, as we can all see… The Lord did not come back. I am full blown Christian, but even I call out phonies. I believe with my entire heart and soul that this man is not preaching for Jesus/Lord, what so ever. He has made jehovah’s witness claims, saying that Jesus was some Arch Angel M.ichael. There are also, if you listen, jehovah’s witness commercials on the Family Radio talk. I’m not against what anyone believe’s, thats for them to come to God, I have to make sure my relationship with God is thick as thieves one. (Don’t think that was a good analogy.) But when you have jehovah’s witness commercials on a Christian Radio, you know something has to be messed up there.

By the way, the reason I don’t care who other people pray to, is because my best friends Wicca, an ex of mine was jehovah’s witness, another friends atheist, and I even have a few catholic friends. They don’t try and make me believe what they believe… And I them. Hannibal is… Well I don’t know what he is. But I couldn’t care either way. I say, don’t judge me, I wont judge you.

Well that’s all for my…. Ranting. It has been a while, and please if you have your own views…. Don’t let me know… Keep them to yourself.


Stories & Update

August 4, 2010

The following subjects below all has a story if not from today than a previous day. Lets start with my first class and we’ll work our way through.

Wines Beers and Spirits: At the end of each presentation we are told to clap for five seconds, so after each presentation my class and I will clap for the individual and watch them walk off ‘stage’. We had three people left to go when the man went up, name will stay anonymous for the individuals safety. Know that we are not friends in any such way, the story is just something I wanted to share. Well after the five second clap for him  a few people would give a little clap here and there. Our Wines Professor looked up and said, “we don’t want any smart asses here.” and of course, me being the way I am, I said, “well at least they aren’t dumb asses.” I bet any one would have loved to have said that.

Spanish: Hmm… Nothing really interesting ever really happens in here…

English: Nothing in here either. Just a lot of drama shit.

Public Speaking: Now this ones funny. I have two friends in this class, and because I think they deserve the notability I shall give it. Rabecca and Branden. They always keep me laughing and honestly I’m so happy to have met them both. ^^ I call Branden McCoy because he looks like the guy from Star Trek. Becca, we say that she’s fired from giving us candy, and by us I mean McCoy and I.

Any who, that’s my little update for you all. Just in case you all thought I was dead or something. And I’m not. Hannibal and I are still together, still live together and love each other. If any other questions, let me know.


Such a busy week

June 18, 2010

Standing on a bridge, watch the water passing under me
It mustÂ’ve been much harder when there was no bridge just water
Now the world is small, remember how it used to be
With mountains and oceans and winters and rivers and stars

Went to a Dave Matthews Concert, pretty awesome yo! ^__^ The most fun I’ve had in a long time. Hannibal took me and it really was fun. I’m glad he didn’t follow through with the whole taking someone else. I would have been really pissed off if he had anyway.

We made out a few times and the band only went on a ten minute break (I think it was five, but Hannibal said ten, and considering he’s a man I thought I would humor him.) Then after the break it was a few more songs and it was over. 😦 I was quite upset.

Now to the funny part! Yay! ^___^

So this week was Culinary Camp at school! Hannibal and I (against our better judgment… Look at the name.) went to help out! Well the kids were pretty good! Made things rather well and honestly I never had so much fun with my Chef’s in ages! Well yesterday (7/16/2010) one of the students asked a question I never thought people would ask… Ever…. And …. I am now going to put what it was… “How do you measure water?” …. Really?…. Really?…. -_- Your hands. -Nods; That’s how. HOW ELSE DO YOU! Ugh!…. >_< Anyways!….

Other than that… Hiccup… It’s been fun! ^___^ Hannibal and I have been having so much fun! (He thinks he has a crush from one of the 12 year old girls. I told him he’s too old and if he pursues not only will I leave him, I’ll turn him in.) (And their 17…. They just act 12.) xD Ok that’s all! ^___^

:O ONE MORE THING! Drama! Ok so Monday a friend of ours had a crush on these two girls in his Baking lab. And that night we went to dinner with them, hung out, had fun and we found out that the girls stalked our friend, put their numbers in his phone and then texted him. I was like “dude…. Your too young for him. Get over it.” Bleh! The guy’s 25! >_< … But yea. Finally the girl that he was actually with, his girlfriend, Texted back and was like “I’m trying to hit up on the girl in front of me and if you text again I’ll have her deal with you.” I was totally for it. If that happens with Hannibal so help me!!!

But that’s it! Hope you enjoyed! ^___^

(NO MORE STUPID GIRL BY THE WAY! 😀 So happy about that. ^___^)