How?

I have to be honest with all of you. As of late, things have been a bit…. Odd.

My feelings are being mixed up, my life has been in a, well to say the least, chaos. And things with Hannibal have definitely been rocky. I’m in love with him and I know that for fact, but sometimes I feel like… Well… Nothing. Shit, trash, crap, horrible, and so on and so forth. Used is truly a word I would I feel right now. It hurts knowing that…. Hmm… Never mind, too much information.  I’m not entirely sure what exactly to say to him, but I can only pray that he is just scared, and that we will be together. I really do not see myself with anyone else. I love waking up next to him, his hair in shambles and the both of us so tired school is out of the question, but we both have to go. I gave up on kids, I’ll give up on a house, and maybe pets, but I will not give up on Hannibal, there’s no way.

It hurts even to think that I might lose him…. I don’t want to.

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