Archive for March, 2010

Thumbs Up

March 22, 2010
Funny story! After meeting with a friend of mine, Lauren, we both were on our way back to Hannibal’s place. Well at one of the stop lights I lean over and give him a little smooch. I wasn’t counting on the fact that someone behind us was watching. Well Hannibal said that I had just scarred some kids in the school bus behind us and I looked to see if it was true and there was some guy in a school bus giving us a thumbs up.
Well I start laughing my ass of and Hannibal looks and starts to laugh as well. I mean, it was pretty darn funny! I didn’t think that anyone was really watching. So yes, that is our funny story for the day. I realllllly hope you enjoyed. I’m sure that guy did, now he has a story to tell his buddies when he gets home.



Wal-Mart Waltz… I think

March 20, 2010
 I have finally danced in Wal-Mart!
Why is this a wonderful feat?
I don’t really know.
I was actually hoping you would all tell me, but that’s doubtful considering NO ONES FRIENDED! Douche bags. … Oh… My… God… Google just helped me spell Douche bags correctly… How freaking funny is that!? Lol! Ok that’s over now. Anyways. Where was I? OH YEA! Wal-Mart.
Yes Hannibal and I danced in Wal-Mart the other night. It was romantic in a weird sort of way. At least up until we got confused about the dance. He and I are not the best dancers. I have a FB and if you saw what I posted today you would understand how bad exactly. 
Ok I’ve seriously got nothing left to say. So….
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Sugar is sweet
and I am too!
[Hannibal cant agree with this.]


Classical Lab

March 19, 2010
So it’s been a while since my last posting. For the usual reasons such as, School, friends, and my wonderful boyfriend Hannibal. I’m not complaining, but I figured I would let you all in on why I’ve not been on. So two weeks ago I had my end of the year final in my Classical Lab for school. It was a doozy. I didn’t fail, but I didn’t necessarily pass either. I’m alright with that though, because I didn’t fail. I know I’m going on to International. Now I brought this up because we are going to talk about a few other things.

I’m not sure if I’ve ever brought to your attention about a girl named…. Destiny. Yes we’ll name her Destiny. Destiny, isn’t the greatest cook ever, she’s rather lazy if you ask me. Very few people in my lab can handle her, it’s a wonder I did when we had to work on ice cream. It’s a wonder I didn’t stab her or shove her face into the ice cream maker… Anyways! When we went out to get our grades this past monday she was the first out. When she went out my friend Kaylee went next. Now while Kaylee was gone Destiny said she was moving on to International, not the greatest news ever. In fact I really wished I had heard otherwise, but I do wish her luck. Apparently Classical was the hardest class and will be the hardest class taken.

Of course while I was gone, after hearing I would be passing on, I went back in and Kaylee and I began to talk. "Did you hear her? She said that Chef called her flat iced Torte ‘awesome.’" That’s very unlikely to have happened. First of all because, I saw it and it wasn’t. Second, our chef does NOT talk like that. I have never heard the word ‘awesome’ even leave the man’s mouth. So Destiny must be high off of something.

It’s strange but there were two ‘cliches’ in that class. Us; Kaylee, Jessica, and I. Then them; Destiny, Valerie and Kim. There were two boys also in our class, but they wern’t really in the cliches, they talked to all of us. I’m not a huge fan of cliches, but I guess they just happen, like everything else in the world. I know this wont end until the end of next quarter and honestly, i cant wait.

Destiny has a way to piss me off, as well as everyone else I’m sure. Some people are more tolerant than others, though.


Here’s to Chef.

March 10, 2010
So last night I kept tossing and turning. I haven’t been sleeping properly in ages. I’m sick and tired of not being able to sleep for the past few days, so for now I’ll blame it on Chef. Not because I want to, but because I can. It’s a darn good thing he wont be reading this, and he doesn’t know who is writing this! So I’m CLEAR! Ha! … Yea I’m tired.
Last night I had a dream with my chef in it, yes again. It’s not like I intended for this to happen, it just did. Nothing happened this time, at least. He was just simply there, like he was my step dad or something. -_- Although, and no offense to my step dad, he would probably be better to my mother than the douchebag shes married to….
Oh well. Oh shit, I forgot, this was supposed to be funny.
Well if you wanna laugh I guess the funniest thing that happened in the dream was my boyfriend, Hannibal, threw up in it. I know that really isn’t funny, but I was laughing my ass off! Well… This is a rather short one, so if anything else comes up today I’ll be sure to add something to it.

You call that Acting!? HA!

March 9, 2010
So my wonderful boyfriend, Hannibal, took me out last night. The highlight of the night was… Me laughing at Leo De-Crapio near the end of his new movie "Shutter Island." It was really funny, the end of it.
I was laughing hysterically. I cant stand that man! And yet there I was, watching his movie. Now understand from my point of view, which I’m sure one of you wont, why it is I hate him. He cant act, but the people who can are in the movie as well. I think Martin Scorsese saw this as well when Leo was in The Departed. Man cant act, cant even hold an accent. Now, I don’t want to ruin the movie but near the end of it Leo’s like ‘NOOOOOOO!" And I almost fell out of my chair laughing. I think everyone looked up at me like ‘wtf?’
What can I say? I really really hate that man.
It was crap as well. I was expecting something scary and it wasn’t! I was really looking forward to jumping in my seat repeatedly. I only did it once! And he was lighting a friggen match! [I think, I cant remember.]
See, that movie was so bad Im already trying to forget it, and I only just saw it yesterday.

I cant complain about the rest of the night though. I had fun with Hannibal and his friends, they didn’t want to kill me yet, which I was really happy about. They ate suchi and later he took me to get dinner at Applebees, which I’m very thankful for because I was starved! I just don’t like suchi and the food they had looked really unappetizing, oh and I don’t like buffets, you can all blame my sanitation teacher for that one! ;D

Anyways that’s about all. Nothing funny at all. Oh except for when I laughed my ass off at Leo’s crappy acting. -_______-
I choose the next movie, by the way, lol. Alice in Wonderland!? šŸ˜€
Yes, yes.


Series of Unfortunate Events

March 7, 2010

"I’m sorry to say that this is not the blog you will be laughing at. The blog you are about to read is extremely unpleasant."
Yes the above line I stole from the movie "Lemony Snicket’s: A Series of Unfortunate Events." Please, if you will, forgive me. Althought I’m not entirely sure about the not laughing part. The entire point of comeing out with this blog was to allow someone to read and enjoy themselves, not read and really wished they hadn’t. So the following stories I will come up with outrageous plots to just so you’ll be able to laugh and I’ll be happy at the idea that you had. Yes the idea, I’m not entirely sure if you are laughing because I’m not actually there with you while you read it.
So here’s yesterday, not in a nutshell, but in a funny way.
I ate oreo’s. I love Oreo’s. They are the most delicious things ever, besides chocolate chip of course. What’s better than a chocolate chip coookie? A home made chocolate chip cookie. The one’s you make from scratch or your mother even makes, grandmothers count as well. Now what does a cookie have to do with anything, one might ask? Well let’s suppose that the cookie made me sick. The entire day, yesterday, I spent writhing in pain just because I ate five of those delicious cookies. I only limit myself to five because if I eat any more than that I’ll be… Well… Writhing in pain. You could imagine my utter shock when I was after five cookies yesterday. At first I thought it was the pants I was wearing, no it was not the pants I was wearing. Then I thought it was because of the milk, so I checked the expiration date, nope not the milk. The only thing left were the cookies. My wonderful Oreo cookies. How could they do such a thing to me. I suppose in a way I deserved it.
Well before the cookies made me sick my laptop decided to act up. I really wished it hadn’t, but I suppose things happen. My wonderful laptop is sitting in my room, right now, trying to charge. I’m not entirely sure if I’ll even be able to get on again, but one can hope. My cat ate the end of my cord, the part that sticks into the computer. My cat is a little cord eating… Blah! I knew it was her because the dogs don’t do stuff like that. So last night, in order to talk to… Hannibal on the internet, I stayed off of it. At about 8 o’clock I get on to see if he is and no, he isn’t. Ten minutes later my computer decides to shut off on me because it’s running out of battery. Blasted thing. I tried everything in my power so it WOULDN’T do that.
The last unfortunate story that I’m sure will make you all laugh. I was extremly tired last night, after the cookie thing it was hard not to be. Being sick makes one tired, at least for me it does. So I went inmy room, bringing my now dead laptop and setting it aside before I lay down and tried to fall asleep. I couldn’t. For some reason my final came to might and I started to hyperventilate. Well I sat up so I wouldn’t faint, I know I’m an idiot, but logic was all but gone at this moment. Upon sitting up I started to cry and rock back and forth. I tried to reason with myself that, hey it’s only because I’m away from Hannibal. No it wasn’t, it was the practicle. Why would I be crying over the fact that I’m no where near Hannibal? Makes no sense, right? Well here’s the funny part. I passed out on my bed twenty minutes later.

As I think over every thing that happened yesterday I find it incredibly stupid that I had cried over a stupid little final. I know I’ll do perfectly fine, in fact I know I’ll pass that final with flying colors! I’m not scared and there really is no reason to be! I’ve made everything once now and I’m sure I’ll do perfectly fine again. The only thing I’m really worried about is the Genoise and it’s only because I cant remember how to mix it. I don’t like putting things together wrong… That and I think I mised the wrong amount, oops.

Anyways, I’m sorry if this didn’t make you laugh. If it didn’t I send you this just so I have the condolance that if that didn’t make you laugh, this will. Follow the link and You’ll see. ^__^


Kids, Don’t Chat Speak.

March 5, 2010
How many of you actually text talk? I mean go out into the world and while in a conversation say, and I quote, “Oh JK, LOL.”
Well my friend, if you do you deserve, in the lightest terms, to be shot in the head. I cant stand it when people talk like that, in a cell phone conversation!? Go freakin crazy! But if you met me in a bar, or cafeteria or something I hear you say one stupid little chat speak thing… I will punch you in the face and never talk to you again. Today my friends and I were having a serious conversation about people who talk like that. It actually started out as my friend Lily saying ‘JK, haha,’ mocking this girl in our class. Now, I know she was kidding, but I still gave her the ‘death glare’. At least something close to it.

Of course our conversation grew and things got better, she’s never going to talk like that again, at least not in front of me, and I wont kill anyone. That my friends is what I call.. A Run On sentence. Not something I favor, Ā but something that simply came up because I had a lot to say and I said it. So deal with it. Well my friends I have one more thing to say about text talking. It’s shows, to me, how much of an idiot you are. If you are offended by this… Ask your friends. What do they think every time you say, ‘hey! wtf mate? Jk lol.” It’s freaking ridiculous. If you don’t know how to actually put a sentence together while talking then maybe, just maybe, you need to go back to the first grade. I don’t want to be the bearer of bad news, but the way you’re talking clearly shows that you are indeed an idiot.

Now if you’re a Senior in High School, rethink it as well. Junior, yes.Ā SophomoreĀ and lower, no. College mostĀ definite. Please this only gives other people moreĀ ammunitionĀ to fire at you when they make fun of you! So as much as I wanted this to be hilarious, it actually turned into a lesson. Kids, don’t chat speak. It’s really hazardous to your College career. How do I know? My Chef, I go to a Culinary arts thing, said it himself. He found it ridiculously annoying and I could see it in his eyes that he really wanted to slap a bitch when she said it. I do every time I hear her.

Have a fantastically wonderful day lovelies.


Dream Continues!

March 4, 2010

Ok so try dating someone that teases you for dreaming about someone you weren’t entirely expecting to dream about in the first place!
Yesterday, if you don’t recall, I put up a blog about a dream I had with a certain… Someone. I’m not sure if I got too detailed about it, but I’m going to keep that part private. Anyways! So last night he and I kept making fun of the fact that I had in fact dreamt about this man. So when we were in ‘bed’ I just smirked and after having… Fun… I moaned softly and cuddled into him before softly saying "oh Steven."
That’s not my boyfriends name, his name is Hannibal if you all recall.
Anyway! He started laughing and so did I. But before that when we were on his couch, I told him I almost said, "hi Steven," when he walked in. As you all can see, this has now, casually, turned into a little game. So when I see Ch- Steven today I’m going to be like ‘now I remembered why I skipped class yesterday.’ Yes I skipped class because of how…… That dream was.
Anyways, I thought I would fill you all in on what this dream and turned me into. A hooker, apparently.
Hannibal says that as long as he’s involved he doesn’t mind if I’m having an orgy with Steven….
Oh gosh, I have to stop. Bye.


March 3, 2010
So I have to now admit that I am immensely clingly. I realize this as I sit at my boyfriends place, on his laptop, and waiting for him to get back from class today. How do I know this? Because I am at his place, sitting on his chair, using his laptop waiting for him to get back. Does this make sense or no? To me it makes perfect sense. To him I’m certain that I am a really clingy girl. For that I must apologize to him for. I think it’s time I changed when it came to that. But! I must point out that maybe thats just how I am? Maybe I like to be clingy. At least I’m clingy in the sense that I can build my own life otherwise I think he would have ditched me a long time ago.
I’m surprised he hasn’t ditched me yet! Do I not bug him enough? Am I not clingy enough? Maybe he likes clingy girls? Maybe one day he will get annoyed. I just hope’s he brings this to my attention before he breaks up with me, that would be a nice thing.
"Well Clarice, I thought I would break up with you. You are far too clingy."
"Well, Hannibal Lector, maybe you should have just sat me down and discussed this with me. Being clingy is nothing to break up with a person over."
"Yes but there are different degree’s of clingy-ness and yours seems to be the worst. I’m sorry but I’m going to have to let you go."
"Well then Hannibal I’m just going to have to turn you in, aren’t I?"
"That really wouldn’t make sense considering you are the one going out with me."
"Good point. Wait we’re still going out? Didn’t you just break up with me?"
"Yes, but I decided I would give you another shot."
"Woah, woah, woah! I never said I wanted another shot. So maybe we are over!"
"No, you’ll be back."
"No I wont."

Ok so maybe the entire conversation wont go out like that exactly, but that’s how it went in my head. Notice how I used the two from ‘Silence of the Lambs.’ Don’t ask where it came from, I just love that movie. Any ways! I hope this has, as always, been enlightening for you. People break up over silly stuff and honestly breaking up with me just because I’m clingy is a little shallow if you ask me! Of course I put this while Hannibal is gone. No we’ve not broken up, I just hope that if we do it’s not over the fact that I’m clingy. I can be very un-clingy if he asked. I would just have to work on that.

My last boyfriend, Paul, broke up with me because in his words I was ‘clingy’. He could have just talked to me! Now look at what he’s missing out on! ME! Yes I am the coolest girl ever now. I have a future in my eyes, I’m going somewhere but you know what he wanted to do? My bestfriend apparently, Allegra.

[If you haven’t noticed, these are all names from the move Hannibal. šŸ™‚ I feel rather proud of myself for this, because that movie rocks as well.]

This is the end of that rant. I hope I haven’t put a damper on anyone’s mood, but that’s just my opinion and I will state things as I please.

Alarm Clock

March 3, 2010

Sorry I’ve not blogged in a while. I made a promise to do so everyday, but I’ve been unable to. Anyways, yesterday I had an idea of what I should blog. Well of course after I had forgotten what I was going to blog and a new idea came to mind this morning. So last night I had one of the strangest dreams ever. Of course I think it’s, the older you get the stranger they are, but that’s just me.
Thankfully about 4am my boyfriend decides he has to go to the bathroom and when he does he wakes me up with him. I’m not complaining, I had a strange dream. Normally I would stay awake for the rest of the night! But as the story goes I went back to sleep and the strange dream insued. Who and what was involved? Trust me I didn’t even want to know and when I saw it was someone I don’t even like in that way and it was something I would NEVER dream of doing… I had to get out of it the only way possible… Alarm clock. Yes just as something was about to ‘happen’ my boyfriends alarm clock went off.
I know, strange huh? I had this type of dream at his house. I felt bad about it so I proceeded to tell him, in the least amount of words, what had happened. He just kept laughing at me, so that made me slightly happier. No I would never dream of hurting him in this manner. I know how it feels and that brings me to the topic of the Blog.
Cheating. Why does anyone do it? I found out last year my mother had cheated on my father. I think it’s funny because my mother, while growing up with her, turned my father into this huge dickhead. No I think it’s the other way around. So now knowing that, I really wouldn’t do that to my boyfriend. Besides, why ruin something that’s just so perfect? Is it not enough for someone that they have another person that just utterly loves them?

I do try to make each of these blogs funny, but truthfully nothing funny has happened. Our neighbors are quite and he acknowldeged the fact that I am Italian. The only funny thing is that yesterday in my lab I almost ended up punching this one chick in the face because she frustrated me so badly. But I was nice and simply walked away. Of course that’s not so much funny as it is like ‘what the fuck’ right? Hmmm, oh well.
I guess that’s the end of that. If anything changes today I’ll be sure to post it! I’m hopeing that when I go back to my boyfriends today I’ll hear something hilarious while he’s gone and die laughing! šŸ˜€
Then I can tell all of you!